Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Finer Points

Dear Charlotte,

Daddy would like me to clarify a few things about the Christmas story I told you regarding Mommy the Magical Elf. Mommy believes that these technicalities would muddle the overall intent of the story, but Daddy seems intent on making fun of the story otherwise. So, much to my displeasure, here are some rather obvious disclaimers:

Technically, Daddy doesn't glow.
Neither does Mommy.
Though she would like to.
Technically, you have FOUR Grandma Elves.
None of whom are actually called "Grandma".
None of them glow either.
Technically, we shouldn't call Mr. Casper "Casper", because, well, it's not a very nice way to reference the oddly pale color of his skin.
Crankshaft, however, doesn't mind being called Crankshaft because, well, he is.
Technically, you, as Duds the Littlest Elf, aren't able to actually speak so much as focus your laserbeam gaze on me and project your thoughts into my head.
(That last one might have been a tad overreaching)
So there you have it.